Jack’s Sparrows

Jack's Sparrows

Episode 4

Forgiving is hard, forgetting harder.

I’m on the verge of forgiving one person in my life. That night made it kinda easier. We decided to have a drink. My first and her 11th(I mean she drinks rarely! I don’t know the number of times she drank).

STATUTORY WARNING: Drinking is injurious to health, so is talking, speaking, answering, discussing and everything.

6’o clock on that fine evening. We both decided to sleep over at our friend’s places after it. Yes! We are grown-ups and we can’t explain it to our homes. We are cheating on ourselves by cheating our parents. We know!

Judge us through all the ways you want for just the one reason that she asked me to drink. But if it reaches her ears, that is when your trouble starts.

It’s Mr.Jack Daniel’s turn to speak up. One gulp, quarter cup. Felt like someone set my oesophagus on fire. Drinkers all over the world! Why do you guys want to burn your food pipe!

“Don’t make me call an ambulance now!” she looked at me.

“It’s! It’s nothing” I tried to be casual.

“Why do you look like you’re going to kill yourselves then?” she laughed.

I heard that. But a headache started. I was trying to balance it out. Man! I was indeed doing it like a pro! One tip and I’m skipping on to what happened after the 5th round. If you are getting high when you don’t want to, just try to think something really different from anything running on your mind. It helped!

“I love you, Barath” she said.

“Eh!” that came out of nowhere.

“It won’t be romantic when I tell that again” she dragged.

“You know what! I am steadier than you!” I told a little loud.

“OK! Your first lesson of Alcoholics! Don’t think women can’t stand high like boys. In reality, women don’t get high like those heroines on-screen. That is bullshit! I meant what I said. In fact, I have told you that a number of times” she said.

The high wore down a little after those words. I could remember most parts of what happened that evening.

“Where do I start? Is it just an approval through words you want? Words are bitches sometimes! I write and I am still telling this” I started.

“There is never this, no strings attached feeling with words. We are accountable. I just have this tiny feeling of fear.  I don’t wanna lie to you about it. In fact, you are the one person I totally do not wanna lie about” took another sip.

“Clearly I don’t want to go the past. But I don’t have a present. I don’t know if.. if I can give this my all. I’m in this phase where every goal I walk turns out to be a mirage. I need you. I need you now. I’ll need you always. I am just this far from the Suicidal Thoughts.You know what gets me going YOU

“I don’t know if I am high. I don’t know how you define it. But alcohol gave me some serious confidence today” I think I said it all.

“This gives me some responsibilities. So I’m not going to let you drink a lot from today. You did speak so much and that matters to me. It’s just this freedom I have when I am with you that makes this so special for me. I don’t have that freedom even when I am alone. Wait! I don’t know if you are going to remember this evening properly!” she smiled while she said that.

“If I won’t rem..remember don’t tell any more important things. Already my memory power is damn poor” I stammered through.

“Barath! You are really in a good kinda high. You never accepted about this memory thing. Never before” she laughed at me.

“I think you got these words out. Not even Mr.Jack here. I’m down and normal. But this left side is less functional” I demonstrated.

She laughed again. You did not note that I told her I love her. She understood that. There is this one thing about humans. They keep you happy or teach you lessons! She was doing both and as i told in the very beginning, I am forgiving someone and Fuck! I am not drinking again! For sometime atleast!!

It’s time for the HOME RUN!

– just barath (c)

 

DuffeR diaries

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“Duffer! Climb up right now!”

She is talking about me. Where did I end it last time? It’s better to not know certain things right now. Ok! I can’t keep secrets from y’all. I did not reply anything to her that day. So, once the coffees turned cold. We paid up, smiled like we loved the coffee and started our way back home.

I decided to go to the bus terminus with her and that was her yelling at me for standing on the footboard of our bus. Footboard is where I learn my life lessons. I know ‘Footboard Travelling is injurious to health.’ Still…

“Barath! There’s place… come up!” she told again.
“I won’t. I like it here” I smiled.
“Ok! I’ll come down, then” she took a step forward. “Footboarding is for the Pros, for boys like me” I raised my hand indicating her to stop. “Yeah! I now know you’re a boy(smiles). Can you grow up a little?” she won the conversation.

I silently stepped up. I wanted to act like she did not tease me at all. But I know this fact and I am recording it here for all the times to come! I am a terrible actor. I miserably failed.

She looked at me, hid her mouth with her hand and smiled. Everest of embarrassment! I took out my earphones from the pocket. Yes! The perfectly entangled one. “Are you serious?” she asked in a raised tone. “You told you’ll come to the terminus with me and now you take out your earphones!” she completed.

I put them back in my pocket. “Sorry! If you feel bad for what I told. I don’t want you traveling on footboards ever again. Please! Don’t make me lecture about this to you. I am not at all the lecture type” she waited for a reply.
“Now be normal again” she smiled.

“Ok! Normal is not coming anytime soon. It will take some time or something to come back” I told firmly.
This particular way is how men roll. An embarrassment that worked out well takes some time to wear off in men. Even if it’s from a close person.

“Take your time. It’s my mistake. You know what? Climb down just one step, if you want” she looked like she completed, “No.. no. You stay there silently. Not a problem. No climbing down!” she added. I looked at her smiling.

That bus trip turned out to be a little awkward. That’s what happens in reality. This is why fairy tales, with 100% happiness do not come with us past elementary school. Fairy tales will not happen unless it’s the BLUE MOON DAY! Let us grow up! There is no lie in awkward situations. It’s the nothing but the truth. If searching for the tiny beauties in that truth is your quest, you will never fail. According to just barath Theory of Life, “It’s always about seeing happiness in imperfEctoins.”

She was looking at me throughout the trip, hoping I’d get back to my normal state. And if that isn’t romantic? What else is!

This duffer’s diary and lectures will continue,,,
– just barath©

Copyrights reserved.

Something’s brewing

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Episode 2

We took our seats. It was in the middle of No-Men Land. Should I ask her about what happened outside? Maybe not! It’s time I watch the movie properly This was the movie we both were expecting a lot. We, in the sense Me separately and her separately. I can tell you about how our story began. But, you wouldn’t believe it. Yes there is a #0.5 to this whole story. So getting back to my movie. It began.

How can I exactly tell, what she was doing? It was just the director’s name on-screen. Trust me! She was the only one standing up and shouting. She looked around, no one else was. Embarrassed, she sat down and looked at me. I tried hard to control my laughter. Thats when she told, “Don’t you dare laugh now! You’ll be dead.” That’s exactly when you start smiling. And so did I!

The movie was moving on and on. I looked at her. She was so much into the movie. And I was so much into her. Thats when I shared her something, that I have never shared with anyone. People outta nowhere become your closest. You cannot explain how but you just share so many important things with them. They were not close with you for a longer time, even then you decide they should be a part of your decision. This person can be anyone, a roommate, a stranger you travelled with, a mutual friend. The way you connect with them, that’s more important than the Time Factor.

She turned to me and asked, “Hmm?”
I told almost immediately, “I’m gonna drop my film project.” She was a bit shocked. “What?”, she was loud. As I told you earlier she knows everything about the movie and its progress so far. So far in the sense, till the minutes before I took that Big decision.

Good heavens! There were no one around us. I don’t know if it was a ‘SAVING MECHANISM’ or the ‘SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON’, the Interval Block came all of a sudden. She looked away, stood up and walked out. “Why does she care so much?” That was the first question that came to my mind. I know that makes me sound like a fool. But I am trying to tell only the truth about what happened, to you. So bear with me and later scold me.

I stood up as she got close to the door. Then ran to catch-up with her pace. “I don’t want to watch the movie” that was the first thing she told. “Shut up! You liked the movie. We are watching it. Don’t act so dramatic for what I just told.” “Dramatic! Barath you are going to tell me the reason, why you wanted to drop the film and I’ll tell you who the drama queen is! Let’s get out” she was angry, too angry! Right?

I am just helpless like Hagrid from HP now. Again I started following her, Because, she walks fast when she is angry!

Then she entered a cafe in the mall. “This looks so costly! Do we really need this to fight?” I asked. “Sit down”, thats what she told. I sat. We were the only ones in the cafe. I was lucky. The waiter came and I ordered two coffees. “Now talk” she told. “One, dont make so much fuss about it. Two, this sounds like an investigation. Change your tone or I am leaving” it was my turn to be angry. She came down a bit. Anger ↔ Anger gets the situation back in our hand.

She smiled, just for the sake of smiling. “Did I ever tell you, how you grew pink in the theatre when no one else was shouting like you”. Now came out the real smile.

“You know that, the lead’s character is more of my experiences. It was
40%-Barath. As I start planning for all the on-field things, she comes into my mind a lot. I wanna forget her. But I just am thinking that I am getting nowhere closer to forgetting her and this is not right. This film will only make things worse” I explained. 

You can’t forget Barath” she gave that Yoda smile.

“You were supposed to say something nice!” I said. “And lie to you” she completed.

“I tell something, that’s true to me or”. I completed, “Or, you don’t talk at all”. “I don’t want you to forget! Give ‘me’ something better than that! ” that was a shocker.

Give her something better! ‘Meh! Alert’
LOVE IS IN THE AIR IT SEEMS! But this wasn’t a normal love story. It got better, just like the way she asked. If you have read ‘Last Wednesday’ you’d know about Barath.

She took the first sip.

I don’t waste time talking about ‘Happily Ever afters’ its just a waste of ‘two seconds’. I could possibly kiss her in that time!

So long!
– © just barath