Of Magic, December and Me

A cold December evening. The sun walked out pretty fast, just like her.

Then, Walt Whitman walked in, so did the moon and sonnets.

A perfect setting to get lost and never come back. Never. Because once the words you want are served at your table and you find it better than people, you start enjoying your company.

The wind does its job of keeping your sailing thoughts on the loneliest streets of Manhattan, the darkest hours of Quebec or the mind-numbing coldness of Alaska. It drifts you away from human territory. The wind knows what is good for you.

One think-alike human is the overdraft limit that can withstand the winds. It is not like the way it is explained in books or movies, or it is not so metaphorical too. It is awkward, imperfect and unexplainable.

If it is unexplainable, how do writers weave out magic on paper?

Did you read that word aloud?

It is. You still feel some works to be extremely closer to truth, right? I did too. Until, that moment I realised, it takes three lines or a maximum of three pages for a character to do a task impossible for a person reading it in real life. Like, travelling nautical miles with the albatross or running into the terrace of a hostel with curfew and a strict warden. It is easy for them.

Impossibilities cause pain. If this was a page of my book, the book that is picked only by the people who need it.
I would have re-written it this way, but yeah! You read the truth in the beginning. I’m speaking truth in my fictions. I’m a paradox.

“A cold December evening. The sun walked out pretty fast, just like her.

She thought that I could never be a father like the one she has had(She was right!). I asked her to decide. I gave her total freedom. But she was furious and felt I was not helping her and I acted like some sick bastard, three blocks away, who is no one to her.

I caught her while she was at the gate trying to look back at me, she was waiting to see if I would call her back. I hugged her, looked into the eyes that reflected our Rafter and then me. I pushed the lock of hair that hid the bruise on her forehead, kissed it. Then, she decided.

Then, Walt Whitman walked in, so did the moon and sonnets.”

-just barath©

Write side of the heart

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Episode 5

Hey Barath!

(Ok!) Dear Barath!
Shucks! Man. I think this is not my thing.  I think you asked me to write a letter to you on purpose! But let me try. This is the first thing you ever asked me. So I’m trying to write something that looks like a letter.

You and your literature things are starting to become interesting for me. All because of you. You talk about it and make me feel like, it’s a mandatory part of my survival. You add those fancy words at the right places and make something out of it, that gets me in this trance, while I am already struck by your handsomeness(Someone’s smiling a lot, now).

This being evident as you are reading, when are you going to get me our first book?

Yes! OUR freaking first book!! I am taking so much control over us. I know all that. That’s because, I miss “us” sometimes and this is the only way I can hold someone’s hand and not feel any pain over the juxtaposed, interlocked fingers(God! Me and my Stupid word choices!)

Writers take a walk by Heartbreak lane on a daily-basis. I know you are new to the neighbourhood, so take your time, learn and get over to me as soon as possible.

I think I am starting to love letters. It gives me this 60s English Womenfolk feel. The Flower-Basket Cycles, Hats, Blue and White checked Shirts. I know you would have picturized me in the above scenarios I listed. Don’t you ever start your plan. I will have to use the Kitchen-Knife just like those 60s movies.

Now coming back to what I really wanted to say.
One fact about humans on earth, irrespective of what songs they hear, or what kinda creatures they live with, humans cheat on themselves for the sake of others, there’s this extent for doing that. You never crossed that, even for me.. that was the thing that amazed me first. You do what you want! I do what I want! And we do what we want(Except when it comes to movies! Because you kinda take the decision always).
We are good! better at times?!

So, write back to me, when the freaking butterfly effect you go mad about lets you!

Write slow and steady, because your handwriting shouldn’t have come past the four line notebooks of kindergarten. I am clueless about how it did!

We are already something. I don’t want an approval by words. Words are bitches.

Say ‘Yes’ with a kiss,
Or,
‘Yes’ with two kisses.

Yours,
You know my name!

P.s.- Its time start loving her. So, Duffer’s diary is closed and kept safely inbetween Vairamuthu and Tolstoy in my book rack.

Bye,
just barath a.k.a Duffer©

Something’s brewing

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Episode 2

We took our seats. It was in the middle of No-Men Land. Should I ask her about what happened outside? Maybe not! It’s time I watch the movie properly This was the movie we both were expecting a lot. We, in the sense Me separately and her separately. I can tell you about how our story began. But, you wouldn’t believe it. Yes there is a #0.5 to this whole story. So getting back to my movie. It began.

How can I exactly tell, what she was doing? It was just the director’s name on-screen. Trust me! She was the only one standing up and shouting. She looked around, no one else was. Embarrassed, she sat down and looked at me. I tried hard to control my laughter. Thats when she told, “Don’t you dare laugh now! You’ll be dead.” That’s exactly when you start smiling. And so did I!

The movie was moving on and on. I looked at her. She was so much into the movie. And I was so much into her. Thats when I shared her something, that I have never shared with anyone. People outta nowhere become your closest. You cannot explain how but you just share so many important things with them. They were not close with you for a longer time, even then you decide they should be a part of your decision. This person can be anyone, a roommate, a stranger you travelled with, a mutual friend. The way you connect with them, that’s more important than the Time Factor.

She turned to me and asked, “Hmm?”
I told almost immediately, “I’m gonna drop my film project.” She was a bit shocked. “What?”, she was loud. As I told you earlier she knows everything about the movie and its progress so far. So far in the sense, till the minutes before I took that Big decision.

Good heavens! There were no one around us. I don’t know if it was a ‘SAVING MECHANISM’ or the ‘SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON’, the Interval Block came all of a sudden. She looked away, stood up and walked out. “Why does she care so much?” That was the first question that came to my mind. I know that makes me sound like a fool. But I am trying to tell only the truth about what happened, to you. So bear with me and later scold me.

I stood up as she got close to the door. Then ran to catch-up with her pace. “I don’t want to watch the movie” that was the first thing she told. “Shut up! You liked the movie. We are watching it. Don’t act so dramatic for what I just told.” “Dramatic! Barath you are going to tell me the reason, why you wanted to drop the film and I’ll tell you who the drama queen is! Let’s get out” she was angry, too angry! Right?

I am just helpless like Hagrid from HP now. Again I started following her, Because, she walks fast when she is angry!

Then she entered a cafe in the mall. “This looks so costly! Do we really need this to fight?” I asked. “Sit down”, thats what she told. I sat. We were the only ones in the cafe. I was lucky. The waiter came and I ordered two coffees. “Now talk” she told. “One, dont make so much fuss about it. Two, this sounds like an investigation. Change your tone or I am leaving” it was my turn to be angry. She came down a bit. Anger ↔ Anger gets the situation back in our hand.

She smiled, just for the sake of smiling. “Did I ever tell you, how you grew pink in the theatre when no one else was shouting like you”. Now came out the real smile.

“You know that, the lead’s character is more of my experiences. It was
40%-Barath. As I start planning for all the on-field things, she comes into my mind a lot. I wanna forget her. But I just am thinking that I am getting nowhere closer to forgetting her and this is not right. This film will only make things worse” I explained. 

You can’t forget Barath” she gave that Yoda smile.

“You were supposed to say something nice!” I said. “And lie to you” she completed.

“I tell something, that’s true to me or”. I completed, “Or, you don’t talk at all”. “I don’t want you to forget! Give ‘me’ something better than that! ” that was a shocker.

Give her something better! ‘Meh! Alert’
LOVE IS IN THE AIR IT SEEMS! But this wasn’t a normal love story. It got better, just like the way she asked. If you have read ‘Last Wednesday’ you’d know about Barath.

She took the first sip.

I don’t waste time talking about ‘Happily Ever afters’ its just a waste of ‘two seconds’. I could possibly kiss her in that time!

So long!
– © just barath

The film begins

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Episode 1

I’m still just a beginner when it comes to using the hand dryer at mall restrooms. It doesn’t dry my hands completely. Or is that how things work there. Why am I even thinking about this now?

Especially, when I have a girl waiting for me outside. And Good heavens this mall had the parking stairs. I could sneak in inspite of being late.
What am I gonna tell her for being late?

‘The hand dryer is messed up!’

Its time to silence my doppelganger talking, with the Ads and Anthem that’s going to be played inside the theatre. Its time to walk out. Because, if I don’t, she might complain about my missing to the Mall Security.

I started walking out and there I saw her. Wait! That’s some other girl. I wore my specs! Now I saw her, smiling at me.

‘Hi, Hand dryer.’
Shut the Fuck Up! CONFUSED BARATH.

I got to her, “Hi, Sorry for keeping you waiting…”

“No, Not a problem. I walked in only now.” and another smile.

‘You can walk in 3 hours later too.. But don’t forget to smile. Because if you forget, I can’t write poetry about you for your Birthday’ I thought.

“The hand dryer is messed up!” 

Shut Up Barath!!! Wait! I did not say that. To confirm I asked, “What?” She told, “The hand dryer inside was not working properly.” 

That screwed-up hand dryer. Yayy!! Its my turn to talk about the Men’s hand dryers’ mechanics. But I was satisfied with, “This problem happens everywhere. They care a lot about what’s on the outside and forget that the inside things keep everything going.” “Wow! Metaphorical and philosophical Barath is!” she told, she really did.

“Did you interpret it that way? You are so cool” I told her. Someone play that happy tears Music here, please. 

“I don’t hear that cool part often” she dragged. “I think I should tell this frequently.. if you want” we started walking.

“That won’t change my inside” she told.

“Nothing should. Except for you talking to yourself, nothing can change your inside” I cleverly replied. 

Then she looked at me. That’s the kinda look they talk about in my kinda movies. Barath! don’t try explicating this. I caught her looking at me and still she did not turn away. I was living the second and then she turned aside. What ran in her mind then? I’m just clueless.

Then I asked, “Why were you looking at me that way?” “I.. I can’t tell! You find out” she told taking a pause.

‘I shouldn’t have asked that!’ I did not know how to react after those words. That’s when some lines from PULP FICTION came running to my left cerebral hemisphere.
“That’s when you know you have found somebody really special. When you can just Shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably share a silence.”

She followed me to the theatre door and then our movie began.

-just barath ©
P.s. Barath will be the name only till I find a name for that role. Yeah! It’s just a name.